I got out of bed, put on my alligator slippers, and walked over to my computer to check the ticker—ten. That’s how many times I had lived this day over. People seem to think that just because I own a popular website that therefore I am some sort of super deity capable of manipulating the laws of physics, but nothing could be further from the truth. I am just as much a victim of Newton’s fourth law as every other convicted criminal punished by being forced to relive every day of his life until he finds the red key and the place to put it.

I had already found the red key. I’d tell you where I found it, but it’s kind of embarrassing, so let’s just say that all I had to do was eat a little bit and wait a little while to find out. After I was done looking at the ticker (it was just a program that ran on my computer, but it had a really neat interface that made it kind of fun to watch), I decided I would eat some breakfast. I had followed this exact routine for ten days in a row, and before that I did pretty much the same thing as well. Look at the ticker, eat breakfast. Today I was going to eat a different kind of cereal.

And there it was—inside the box of Lucky Charms, like some sort of perverse prize for children. Of course I was going to have to retrieve the red key again since things reset every day I don’t put the red key in the keyhole, so I ate a whole lot of the Lucky Charms. Then I went to watch some TV. After watching TV for a while, I decided to eat some lunch. When I was done with lunch, I started watching TV again, and then I took a nap. Immediately after the nap I ate some dinner, while the TV played in the background. And then I felt the urge to use the restroom.

I grabbed the box of Lucky Charms first.